By Myself
by dee768nj
Summary: Prequel to Worst Fears. This is what led to the whole sad story. Written as a challenge response on perfectlyplum when Worst Fears was almost finished. Babe. Warning: Kind of sad. Rating because of what follows in WF.


_Prequel to Worst Fears. Written as a challenge response on perfectlyplum when Worst Fears was almost finished. Prompt: "I promised I'd be done before April 15th, didn't I?"_

_Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money. Characters belong to Janet Evanovich. Lyrics belong to Linkin Park._

_Warning: A little melancholy. Linkin Park does that to me._

**By Myself**

By Dee

_I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin  
I make the right moves but I'm lost within  
I put on my daily facade but then  
I just end up getting hurt again  
By myself  
—Linkin Park (Hybrid Theory)_

It was late. I'd just gotten up to my apartment and was lifting the lid on the dinner Ella left for me when my phone rang. The caller ID showed it was the control room. Fuck, I thought, I just left there five minutes ago. What the hell could have happened?

"What," I snapped, allowing my exasperation to escape into my voice.

"Sorry to bother you, boss," came Ram's voice, "but thought you'd want to know Stephanie's car just disappeared off the grid. And her cell phone is going straight to voicemail."

Oh, shit. Another one bites the dust. My heart clenched. Please don't let her have gone with it.

I kept my feelings locked up away from my voice this time. "Last location?"

"Parking lot of the Foodtown Shopping Center on Hamilton."

"Anybody nearby?"

"Closest car is Bobby and Lester doing surveillance at Tenth and Pine. You want me to send them?"

"No, I'll go." I was at least ten minutes closer.

I slammed the lid back down on my dinner and double-timed for the door, grabbing the keys to the Porsche Turbo as I passed the hall table. Stephanie loved the Turbo and she might need a ride home.

As I drove I concentrated on the street in front of me, forcing back the anxiety that threatened.

Stephanie.

The flame to my moth.

I shook my head a little, thinking about the touch of magic in her. I'd never met anyone who shone so brightly, who was so utterly _good._ She genuinely cared about people, her friends, her crazy family, her skips … me.

She lit up the darkness, gave me hope for absolution. If she could care so much about me, wasn't there a chance for forgiveness?

But then, she didn't really know me, what I'd been, the things I'd done. I wondered if she'd still care about me, be able to forgive me, to love me if she found out the truth.

No, I was better off by myself.

I put my thoughts away as I pulled to the curb in front of Foodtown. The parking lot was a frenzy of flashing lights and emergency vehicles backlit by flames shooting fifty feet in the air.

I launched myself out of the Turbo and loped toward the flames, silencing with a steely look the uniformed cop that tried to stop me. My eyes searched the crowd, seeking that tall, slender figure with the tumultuous brown curls.

I spotted a woman's legs on a gurney being loaded into an ambulance. I hustled over to get a better look. Slender, long legs... I leaned into the ambulance. An almost bald head, the hair singed so badly there was very little left. I strained to see the face…

Not Stephanie.

I turned back toward the burning vehicle.

There.

The relief was palpable as I exhaled a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. The trembling of my knees was almost imperceptible as I double-timed over to where she stood watching the car burn.

"Babe," I said, the word making me ache with a longing that I knew I could never ease.

She turned and breathed, "Ranger," smiling through the tears that streaked her sooty face.

I pulled her tight against me, the feeling of her in my arms a little taste of the heaven I would never otherwise know.

She melted into me, turning her head and resting her cheek on my chest.

"Are you okay, Babe?"

"Yeah, now that you're here."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"It was Veronica Vega. I was right up against the wire, needed to get her tonight. Vinnie's been having hysterics."

"And that's her?" I nodded at the ambulance.

"Yeah. She shot at me!" Stephanie was outraged. She tipped her head back to look up at my face. "She had this great big cannon and she tried to shoot me. She's only wanted for _parking tickets,_ for God's sake. It's not like she's going to get life. She just has to pay the freaking things!"

"And her bullet hit the gas tank of your car," I stated.

"Yeah. When I saw the gun I threw myself on the ground, and the full force of the explosion hit her. I guess the blast passed right over top of me, although once the car started burning I had to squirm away on my belly like a snake to keep from turning into a crispy critter."

I pulled her back to my chest and she wrapped her arms around my waist, sighing and squeezing me tight.

"Thanks for checking on me," she said. "Sorry you had to come all the way out here. I would have called, but my phone was in my bag inside the car."

"I'll have Tank bring you a new one."

"Speaking of phones, can I use yours? I promised Vinnie I'd call him when I got Vega so he wouldn't spend all night worrying about it."

I handed her my phone. Vinnie was a weasel, a freak, and it would be good for him to spend a night worrying. But Stephanie would never allow anyone to worry unnecessarily, not even her creepy cousin.

"Vinnie," she said into the phone, "it's Stephanie. I…"

She held the phone away from her ear, and I could hear the weasel shouting at her. I grabbed the phone and growled into it, "Shut up and listen to Stephanie."

Silence.

Stephanie took the phone back. "Vinnie, I promised I'd be done before April 15th, didn't I? I'll bring the body receipt in tomorrow. Good night."

She handed the phone back to me. "Thanks."

We just stood there, holding each other, until her boyfriend the cop finally showed up. Stephanie pulled away from me and turned to face him.

"Hey, Joe," she said cheerfully, the melancholy from the blast dissipated like the skip's frizzled hair.

"Christ, Cupcake, what happened?" he asked, putting an arm around her.

"Oh, it was no biggie. Stupid skip shot my gas tank." She leaned her head against his shoulder. "Can you take me home?"

"Yeah, let's go. Carl's going with the ambulance to the hospital. You can come to the station with me in the morning to make your statement and get your body receipt. I'm done for the night, so we can pick up a pizza and watch the game. And then…" He leaned his head down and nibbled at her neck, making her giggle.

As they walked away together, Stephanie turned and called back over her shoulder, "Thanks again, Ranger. See you."

I turned and walked back to my car.

By myself.

_The horrible aftermath of this simple story can be found in Worst Fears. I'll begin posting it tomorrow._


End file.
